


The Blind Cupid

by wtfisgoingonanymore



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/M, Kinda, M/M, Shakespeare is in here too, Unrequited Love, for a brief second, it's complicated - Freeform, tiny bit of homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:47:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26300662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wtfisgoingonanymore/pseuds/wtfisgoingonanymore
Summary: "Love looks not with the eye, but with the mind."But aren't thee such a wide-eyed lover- to insist on loving another.Why must thy continue to love in this way?Is it thy pride? Thy fear? The leer of our peers upon those that are queer?Can you not set these aside and blind yourself for me?Can you not love me as wholely as Cupid intended it to be?I beg of you to look not at her and connect your heart with me!Let our love be stronger than all your worriesWash away thy fears and come into my arms.Be stronger than those who wish us harm.Or could it be that I have been mistaken?There was never any love to begin with between you and me.Could it be we are but victims of the Blind Cupid -who struck me for you, you for she, she for you, and none for me.
Relationships: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	The Blind Cupid

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna come yell at me, I'm wtfisgoingonanymore on tumblr xD I will accept my scoldings for all the pain.

_"Love looks not with the eye, but with the mind."_

Merlin didn't mean to fall in love with the King of Camelot. When he met him, he could never imagine their insults turning into friendly banter -much less for it to turn into the chat of a lover. Yet somehow, he was proven wrong. Over the years, 'prat' seemed to turn into 'my love" and 'idiot' was spoken softer and fonder. 

If you were to ask him when it started, Merlin could never tell you. The line between friendship and love blurred together -like they were never just friends in the first place. Just as the dragon said, they were two sides of the same coin. That saying, however, was never more true than when they laid together in bed and became one. 

When they first found themselves tumbling to bed, it was after a particularly big argument about Arthur's behavior after Gwen left. One minute they were yelling at each other for being stubborn idiots and the next saw Merlin pressed up against the wall with Arthur mouthing and biting at his lips. 

After that, love paved the way to soft kisses in the night, and gentle embraces hidden from sight. 

_But aren't thee such a wide-eyed lover- to insist on loving another._

_Why must thy continue to love in this way?_

_Is it thy pride? Thy fear? The leer of our peers upon those that are queer?_

But Arthur was still king.

It never escaped Merlin's mind whenever he overthought their relationship at night. He knew that what they had could never be known to anyone but themselves. Merlin was ready to accept this in stride -content on loving and being loved from the shadows.

In his head, he thought that -while disappointing- this is how their lives will be forevermore. Merlin will stay by his king's side in the day and be his lover at night. Not once did Merlin ever consider Arthur taking up a queen or having an heir. Merlin wasn't the kind of person to think that much into the future. He wanted to live in the present and see where they end up.

Arthur wasn't like that. Arthur was everything Merlin was not like that. He thought about their future. Despite how much it pained him, he could not give what his lover so desired. For the sake of his kingdom, he needed to take up a queen and produce an heir. 

What he and Merlin had...it was never gonna last.

_Can you not set these aside and blind yourself for me?_

_Can you not love me as wholely as Cupid intended it to be?_

"Arthur you can't do this! There's got to be another way!"

"What can you not understand, Merlin?! I am in need of a wife. I need an heir. You can not give me that, and Guinevere can."

"You can always appoint someone as your heir, Arthur. It's been done before."

"I will not tarnish the Pendragon name any more than I already have."

"How on earth have you tarnished the Pendragon name?"

"God Merlin...The commoner knights? The insouciance towards the druids? The feelings for **_you_ **!"

"What...?"

"Yes, Merlin, they know -or at least they suspect it. If they ever find out-...They can **never** find out, Merlin. It is unbefitting for a king to be in love with a man

But all Merlin heard was the words of a man too scared to fall blindly and truly. 

'A man too scared to be with me.' he thought

_I beg of you to look not at her and connect your heart with me!_

_Let our love be stronger than all your worries!_

_Wash away thy fears and come into my arms._

_Be stronger than those who wish us harm._

So Arthur rekindled his relationship with the Lady Guinevere. He dismissed Merlin for the night -ending first their warm unions, then their gentle embraces, before finally even their late dinners. The soft kisses that once were pressed upon Merlin's rightful lips were now taken to the much softer Lady.

The council objected- albeit lightly. They decided to count this as a blessing compared to having a second king.

Still, Merlin continued to love. He looked at Arthur longingly and he dressed him so fondly. He tried to keep their love warm for both of them- he tried to tell himself that he could love for both of them. He brushed off Arthur's silence in response to his 'prats'. He waved off Arthur's reluctance to call him an idiot back. Merlin held on to their love for as long as he can -still hoping that love will win again.

But a man still had his limits. 

"...Just say it, Arthur."

"...say what?"

"Make things easier and say it."

"..."

"Merlin, I'm going to marry Gwen. She will be my wife and I, her husband"

"That's not what I'm looking for."

"Don't make this harder than it already is. I told you that what we had is over and never to be spoken of again."

"Then be a man and say it, Arthur. There's one last thing before everything we've ever had is torn to the ground."

"...I love her. I love Guinevere with all my heart and I'm going to marry her. She is my queen and together we will bring about the golden age of Albion."

"Bold...Very bold of you to use the words I gifted you to gift to her."

_Or could it be that I have been mistaken?_

_There was never any love to begin with between you and me._

_Could it be we are but victims of the Blind Cupid -who struck me for you, you for she, she for you, and none for me._

"By the sacred laws vested in me, I crown you Guinevere, Queen of Camelot."

"Long live the queen!"

And Camelot rejoiced their beautiful and righteous queen. She was perfect in every way -even managing to sway the council to see past her heritage. 

And Merlin went back to saving the love Cupid had so carelessly given him. He served them on dates and anniversaries. He painfully watched as they shamelessly made their love known before his very eyes. He looked on in jealousy, in longing, and in pain.

He watched as his love fell in love again.

*

*

*

_"And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind._

_Nor hath Love’s mind of any judgment taste—_

_Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste._

_And therefore is Love said to be a child,_

_Because in choice he is so oft beguiled."_

Merlin couldn't help the bitter smile that left him as he listened to the familiar lines. Shakespeare was a much better writer than him.

He glanced at his reincarnated king and his reincarnated queen -on another date that they dragged Merlin on. It seemed old habits were as hard to kill as old feelings. 

Merlin chuckled humorlessly and smiled sadly as he mouthed the next lines perfectly - as if he was recounting his story to Shakespeare once again.

_"As waggish boys in game themselves forswear,_

_So the boy Love is perjured everywhere._

_For ere Demetrius looked on Hermia’s eyne,_

_He hailed down oaths that he was only mine._

_And when this hail some heat from Hermia felt,_

_So he dissolved, and showers of oaths did melt."_


End file.
